The Many Faces of Forgiveness in Shrinking

Apple TV’s Shrinking balances comedy with deep emotional truths. At its core, the series explores grief, centering on therapist Jimmy Laird (Jason Segel) as he and his daughter Alice (Lukita Maxwell) struggle with the loss of Jimmy’s wife and Alice’s mother, Tia. But as the series progresses, another crucial theme takes center stage—the role of forgiveness in healing.  

Throughout two seasons, nearly every major character faces a moment where they must either extend forgiveness to someone who hurt them or seek it for themselves. While the show handles this theme well, some instances of forgiveness feel a little too easy or idealistic. That said, Shrinking does present forgiveness as messy, imperfect, and ongoing.  

Jimmy and Alice: Self-Loathing, Forgiving Oneself and Others, and The Limits of Forgiveness

At the center of Shrinking is Jimmy Laird, a therapist drowning in grief after Tia’s sudden death. Overwhelmed by grief, he emotionally and parentally abandons his teenage daughter, Alice, leaving her to navigate grief alone. Jimmy’s path to healing is tied directly to forgiveness—not just from others, but from himself.

Throughout the series, Alice gradually forgives Jimmy for disappearing on her when she needed him most. Their relationship doesn’t magically heal; instead, it requires consistent effort, honest conversations, and Jimmy’s willingness to show up for Alice.

However, while Jimmy works toward earning Alice’s forgiveness, he struggles with forgiving himself. Even as he becomes a better father and reengages with a healthy lifestyle, his failure to be there for Alice in her darkest moment clearly weighs on him.  

Beyond self-forgiveness, Jimmy also faces the challenge of forgiving the drunk driver who killed Tia. He claims to have forgiven the man, but his words and actions tell a different story. He demands that the man stay away from him and Alice, even though Alice seems to have legitimately forgiven him and seems to find interacting with him therapeutic. 

The subplot involving forgiving the drunk driver is the hardest to believe and comes across as overly idealistic. It’s hard to imagine a husband and child forgiving the person that killed their most cherished loved one in the way that it occurs in the series. And even if they could, would they actively want to spend time with the person?  

Still, Shrinking raises an interesting question—can forgiveness exist without reconciliation? The show seems to suggest that true forgiveness involves both letting go of resentment and building or rebuilding a relationship with the forgiven person. But as Jimmy’s story shows, that’s often easier said than done.  

Though I don’t think the series has shared its final thoughts on the matter, Shrinking suggests that forgiveness requires reconciliation, which ultimately means freeing oneself from resentment and allowing a new relationship with the person who has been forgiven. 

Paul: Ego and Altruism

Paul (Harrison Ford), Jimmy’s mentor and fellow therapist, is a man who has built his life around professional success. He is widely respected, his career celebrated nationally, and his reputation as a brilliant therapist precedes him. Yet, for all his accolades, he is confronted with a truth he can no longer ignore—his success came at the cost of his family.

Paul’s estranged relationship with his daughter, Meg, is a direct consequence of his choices. He prioritized his work, pouring himself into the lives of his patients while emotionally neglecting his child. His ego told him that being great at his job would justify his actions, that the work he did was so important it excused his absence as a father. But towards the end of his life and amidst a serious illness, Paul realizes that no amount of professional achievement can replace the love and presence he failed to give his daughter.

His journey isn’t about undoing the past—it’s about reckoning with the damage he caused and attempting to make amends. This is not an easy process, nor does it happen all at once. Paul’s journey seeking forgiveness requires patience, humility, self-sacrifice, and the willingness to consistently show up, even when it’s uncomfortable.

In many ways, Paul’s arc is a study in contrast—ego versus selflessness, professional success versus personal fulfillment. His character demonstrates that true reconciliation requires more than just recognizing past mistakes; it demands a shift in priorities, a willingness to put relationships before recognition, and an understanding that what truly matters isn’t the legacy we leave in our careers, but the impact we have on the people who love us.

Gabby: Identity, Self-Worth, and Letting Go

Gabby (Jessica Williams) is one of Shrinking’s most dynamic characters, blending humor, intelligence, and emotional depth. However, beneath her quick wit and infectious energy, she struggles with self-worth, unresolved trauma, and a complicated family history that continues to shape her view of herself.

At the heart of Gabby’s journey is her struggle with validation. While she presents herself as confident and carefree, her vulnerability peeks through in moments where she admits feeling unworthy of true love. This insecurity has shaped her into someone who is constantly seeking affirmation, whether from her friends, her romantic partners, or even her patients. She has spent much of her life making herself emotionally available to others, yet rarely receives the same level of care in return.

A significant part of Gabby’s arc revolves around forgiveness—not just of others, but of herself. She slowly comes to realize that her mother’s shortcomings and her family’s inability to fully meet her emotional needs are not reflections of her worth. Likewise, she begins to let go of the idea that her divorce was a personal failure.

Gabby’s journey is ultimately about learning to embrace herself and be proud of who she is. Her path for moving forward is all about reframing her past and herself—understanding that her experiences, even painful ones, shaped who she is, but those experience don’t need to define her. Her story underscores that true self-worth isn’t found in external validation, but in learning to love and accept oneself, even when others have failed to do so.

Liz and Derek: Control, Trust, and the Complexity of Marriage

Liz (Christa Miller) and Derek (Ted McGinley) are one of the more understated yet crucial couples in Shrinking. While their relationship is often played for comedic contrast—Liz being overbearing and sharp-witted, Derek being the effortlessly chill and supportive husband—there’s more depth to their dynamic than initially meets the eye. Their arc throughout the series highlights themes of control, trust, and the challenges of long-term marriage.

Liz thrives on control. She’s the type of person who organizes everything, keeps tabs on the neighborhood, and steps in whenever she thinks people need help—whether they ask for it or not. At first, this makes her seem overbearing, but as the series unfolds, it becomes clear that Liz’s need to manage everything appears to stems from her own insecurities and fears of being unneeded.

With her kids grown and gone, Liz redirects all her energy onto Alice, essentially inserting herself into Jimmy’s family dynamic. She sees herself as a caretaker, someone who must be needed.

Derek, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of Liz—laidback and easygoing. He is a source of comic relief in many scenes, often seen enjoying his beer, watching sports, and letting things slide. Yet, despite his seemingly detached demeanor, Derek is deeply perceptive and knows Liz better than anyone.

Derek’s most significant moment comes when he forgives Liz for kissing another man. This could have been the breaking point in their marriage, but instead, Derek chooses to acknowledge it as a mistake rather than a betrayal. His approach to forgiveness is rooted in trust and understanding—he knows Liz and knows that her moment of indiscretion came at a time when she was most vulnerable.

Their relationship also shows that even in a strong marriage, growth is necessary. Liz has to learn to stop trying to control everything. Derek also comes to realize he needs to take a more active role in keeping their marriage steady, not by fighting for control, but by helping Liz realized how valued and important she is to her family and friends.

Ultimately, Shrinking presents Liz and Derek as a testament to the fact that relationships require both patience and growth. Their marriage is far from perfect, but it works because they allow each other space and when a mistake happens, they are able to make amends.

Sean and His Father: Understanding Before Forgiveness

Sean’s (Luke Tennie) storyline is one of the most heartfelt—and explored—in Shrinking. A veteran struggling with PTSD, Sean has a difficult relationship with his father, who dismissed his pain and struggles after he returned home from war. Shrinking does a good job of portraying the slow and painful process of how understanding another person’s shortcomings could lead to forgiveness. Specifically, Sean recognize that his father’s failures weren’t due to malice, but rather ignorance, insecurity, and an emotional distance common to men of his generation. On the flip side, Sean’s father comes to this realization as well and realizes he needs to be more emotionally vulnerable around his son to help him move forward.

By the end of the second season, Sean hasn’t completely forgiven his father, but he’s taken meaningful steps toward forgiveness, healing, and reconnecting with his father. His father is making an effort, and Sean, rather than holding onto resentment, is willing to give him a chance. This storyline reinforces that forgiveness isn’t always immediate or total—it can happen in stages, allowing relationships to rebuild piece by piece.  

Forgiveness and Imperfection

Beyond the comedy and strong character dynamics, Shrinking stands out in how it portrays forgiveness—not as a magic fix, but as a difficult and often incomplete process.  

Each character is flawed, making mistakes that hurt others—sometimes accidentally, sometimes due to carelessness. The show reminds us that forgiveness isn’t about erasing pain or pretending nothing happened. Instead, it’s about recognizing our shared humanity, understanding that imperfection is universal, and choosing to rebuild relationships when possible and constructive.

What sets Shrinking apart from other narratives about forgiveness is its nuance. Many stories treat forgiveness as absolute—you either forgive or you don’t. Shrinking acknowledges the gray areas—sometimes forgiveness is gradual, sometimes it’s incomplete, and sometimes it might not happen. By exploring the breadth and depth of forgiveness, the series is able to show that forgiveness can be freeing, but it’s also difficult, and could be incomplete. However, even if it’s incomplete, it can still be meaningful.

Conclusion

In Shrinking, forgiveness isn’t depicted as a singular event—it’s an ongoing process. It’s about acknowledging pain, making amends, and choosing to rebuild relationships. In other words, the show reinforces that forgiveness requires more than words, there’s a lot of painful work involved.

The show doesn’t preach that forgiveness is always necessary, but it does argue that it’s often worth the effort. At the heart of it all is a simple truth—forgiveness is hard, but carrying resentment could be much harder—especially when the person in need of forgiveness is yourself.